Tobi meets Barney!
by Blazing Aurora
Summary: Tobi meets Barney in Tsukiyomi... Very funny. Rated T for Hidan's language. Oneshot. Complete


**This is my first one-shot and as a side note I only watch the anime and don't read the manga (Twilight grins and remembers the hours of fun she's had teasing Aurora about the manga-which she reads). What I know about Tobi, Deidara, Hidan, Pein and Itachi is drawn either from the anime, other fanfic or from my friends, so if I make a mistake about their characters then I am sorry… Blazing Aurora**

**Rated T for language.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto… If I did Gaara would never have been left alone for so long.**

**Oh and clicks for Twilight Falls who beta reads for me! Read and Review plz! (Twilight's note-yeah, the one thing that I have to consistently edit is the spelling of my username…she keeps spelling it 'Twighlight'…)**

**Blazing Aurora: **_**nervous laugh; cough cough…**_

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"Tobi's a good boy! Tobi join Akatsuki? Tobi…"

"Tobi. If you wish to keep your sanity I suggest you shut the fuck up!"

5 of the Akatsuki members were sprawled on the grass outside the base after training at the nearby training grounds. Hidan was sorting through some accounting that Pein had saddled him with while Itachi, Kisame and Deidara were just trying to chill in the sunshine. Hence why Hidan was getting rather pissed at the constant breaks in his concentration caused by a certain masked brat.

"Aww. You know you love me really Hidan!"

"Itachi! Make him shut up!" Hidan took on the whiny tone of voice that grated on Itachi's nerves by reminding him about his foolish little brother.

"Hn!" Kisame froze in place. He knew that tone of voice. It was the 'I am this close to snapping your neck in two' kind of tone; and if Itachi was using it. Most sane people would start running in the opposite direction. Of course on contemplation the Akatsuki were anything but sane but…

"Tobi just be quiet for a little while, yeah! That way we won't have to resort to level 3 torture, yeah.' Deidara gave Tobi a sickly sweet smile.

The silence lasted for just over 7 minutes. Which was a miracle as far as Tobi was concerned and was definitely a record.

"This long enough?"

"ARGHH!!!"

"TOBI!!!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!!"

"SHUT UP!!"

"Silence!" Itachi never yelled. But it was rumoured that whole armies had been completely immobilised by that cold snap when accompanied by a fully activated 3 tomoe sharingan. "Hidan sit back down and finish your accounting. Kisame you were never a part of that argument in the first place; so shut up and continue to stay out of it. Deidara stop antagonising Tobi or I'll have to start cutting your legs off to match your arms (Twilight cries). Tobi; shut up and sit still or go bother either Zetsu of Kakuzu. If you don't then you will have a crash course in the finer points of the sharingan!"

"Yes Itachi-sama!" The four voices blended perfectly in pissed off acknowledgment.

This time Tobi only managed 4 minutes before the silence became just too unbearable.

"But Itaacchhiiii-samaaaa… Zetsu is on guard duty!"

Kisame, Deidara and Hidan had enough sense to hurriedly shut their eyes and turned around smirking as Itachi wheeled towards Tobi; closing his eyes then reopening them again with a stated "Mangekyou Sharingan!"

The clouds ceased on their path before moving in the opposite direction they had been travelling. The sun was blacked out before re-emerging as a moon among red skies. The general vicinity around Tobi was surrounded in a thick mist, similar to the jutsu used by the Seven Swordsmen of the Hidden Mist. Itachi's voice echoed form nowhere and everywhere all at once.

"Tobi… You were warned and warned. Now you must face the consequences!"

"Consequences?"

There was no reply from Itachi. Instead a giant purple beast formed in front of Tobi from the mist.

"Hello!! My name's Barney!! We've got 72 hours of fun together! Everybody sing together now!!

_I love you! You love me!_

_We're a happy family!_

_With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you…_

_Won't you say you love me too?_"

"YAY! I LOVE THIS SONG!!!"

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Itachi smirked. Sasuke had had nightmares for weeks after watching that godforsaken programme with its creepy giant teddy bear. To be perfectly honest he was slightly scared himself! Tobi would crack by 4 hours guaranteed… HA! He was brilliant!

The remaining 4 members of Akatsuki watched Tobi emerge from the horrors of Tsukiyomi in quiet satisfaction. Secure in the knowledge that Tobi had received what was coming to him when suddenly…

'YEAH!_ I LOVE YOU! YOU LOVE ME! WE'RE A HAPPY…_"

"WHAT?!" Deidara, Kisame and Hidan wheeled onto the shell-shocked Itachi. This was impossible!

How could this have happened?

"ITACHI!!" They had to yell loudly to be heard over Tobi's renewed efforts.

"_WITH A GREAT BIG HUG, AND A KISS FROM ME TO YOU…_"

"DAMN YOU ITACHI!!!"

Itachi rather prudently decided that now was a good time to be making a run for it. And so proceeded to do just that. He burst into the outer doors of the Akatsuki base, almost tearing the door from its hinges in his haste before sprinting through the labyrinth that was the tunnelling system within the base before he hit a dead end. He turned on his heels to attempt to try and head in another direction and hide till the guys lost their temper when he noticed the three Akatsuki members blocking the exit route… Oh shit!

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Pein was trying his best to do the organisations paperwork when he heard the commotion outside… Grr, he really needed to concentrate on this!

'Should I go and see what the hell is so important that they need to interrupt my work?'

An agonising bloodcurdling scream was heard at the end of the corridor, accompanied by several large explosions.

'Never mind…'

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**Please review! I'd love some feedback! (Twilight pouts. She still hasn't got her chocolate, and she's now given up chocolate for Lent. Aurora snickers and privately wonders how long Twilight'll last)**


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